This morning I found something that made me shiver all over. My husband posted a photo of me sleeping with another man online!
The beginning of something amiss
It probably started about three months ago. Jack gets home from work later and later. In the past, his company ended work at six o 'clock and he got home punctually at half past six. Now, he often doesn't come back until seven or eight o 'clock. I asked him several times, and he said he was busy with the project and needed to work overtime. I can understand. He does software development and sometimes the projects are tight. 
Growing more and more distant
But in the past, when the project was busy, he would also call to say something. Now he doesn't call anymore and just comes home late. Moreover, his state when he got home was not right either. In the past, when he came in, he would first give Tom and me a hug and ask us how our day was.
Now he either goes straight to the study when he enters the door or sits on the sofa looking at his phone, saying very little. Even during meals, he was absent-minded. It took him a while to react when I spoke before he replied. Since last month, he has also left very early in the morning. I usually get up at seven, make breakfast, wake Tom up, and then send him to the kindergarten at eight. 
My friend's words made me think a lot
But now when I wake up, Jack has already gone out. Sometimes there is half a pot of coffee in the coffee machine, and sometimes there is nothing at all. I asked him why he was so early. He said he wanted to avoid the morning rush hour or deal with his work earlier. The frequency of our sex has also decreased. It used to be two or three times a week, but now it's only once or twice a month, and it feels like he's daydreaming.
I've taken the initiative a few times, but he always says he's tired. Let's do it another day. I felt uncomfortable in my heart, but I didn't think negatively. I just felt that he might be under a lot of work pressure. Last Tuesday, I made an appointment with my best friend Lisa for coffee. Lisa is my college classmate and we have known each other for over ten years. 
The knot in my heart
She has a straightforward personality and says whatever comes to her mind. I mentioned Jack's recent changes and said I was a little worried that he might be too tired from work. Lisa put down her coffee cup and looked at me, "Anna, do you want to hear the truth?" "Sure." "These signs are typical," she said, "late return, silence, lack of closeness, early departure, and reduced sex life." Did he avoid you when he was using his mobile phone? I thought about it.
Jack does often use his mobile phone with the screen facing down or answer calls in other rooms now. But I think it might be a work call and they don't want to disturb us. "Maybe." " I said. Lisa leaned forward: "I didn't mean to scare you, but you should be careful."
Decide to test
It was like this when my ex-husband was having an affair. We suddenly became distant, and then I found out that he was texting someone else. I said it was impossible. Jack wasn't that kind of person. "Neither was my ex-husband," Lisa said, "but it happened." I'm not saying that Jack must be unfaithful. I'm just saying that these signs are worth noting. "Just observe it or ask him directly." " Lisa's words were planted in my heart like seeds.
I began to recall more details. Jack really doesn't let me touch his phone much recently. Before, he would casually show me things, but now when he unlocks his phone, he turns his body a little. He would bring his mobile phone into the bathroom when taking a bath, but he didn't before. Last weekend, Tom wanted to play games on his mobile phone. He quickly brought it back, saying that the phone was out of battery, but there was still sixty percent left. Also, he bought several new clothes recently.
That night
Jack doesn't pay much attention to his dress. Usually, he wears the T-shirt and jeans given by the company. But last month, he bought two new shirts and a new cologne. I asked him and he said there was an important meeting at the company and he needed to dress appropriately. It sounds reasonable, but when put together, it makes me uneasy. I was torn for several days and finally decided to give it a try.
If you ask him directly, he might deny it. If he hadn't cheated, I would have been sad when I asked him about it, thinking that I didn't trust him. If there's any infidelity, I'll alert you if I ask. Lisa said the best way was to observe and collect evidence. I thought of all kinds of methods and finally decided on the simplest one: pretend to be asleep and see what he does after I go to sleep at night.
Dare not move
Tom has been having nightmares recently. He woke up crying in the middle of the night for three consecutive days, so he has been sleeping in our bed these days. This gave me cover. I could pretend to be asleep and Jack wouldn't suspect it. Last night, as usual, I took Tom to bed at ten o 'clock.
Jack is in the study and says he still has some work to do. I wasn't actually sleepy, but when I turned off the light and lay down, Tom soon fell asleep. I closed my eyes and waited. At about eleven o 'clock, Jack entered the bedroom. He moved very gently, took off his clothes, went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, and then walked to the bedside. I thought he was going to lie down, but he stood for a while. Then I heard a very soft "click" sound.
Steal a mobile phone
It's the sound of the phone taking a photo. I'm sure. Because Tom likes to take pictures with my phone, I'm very familiar with this sound. Click. Click. Another click. There are three sounds in total. He is taking pictures, taking pictures of us sleeping. My whole body was stiff, but I continued to pretend to be asleep, keeping my breathing steady.
Why did Jack secretly take pictures of us in the middle of the night? This confuses me even more than infidelity. If it's an affair, he should be texting someone else or going to the balcony to make a phone call. Why take pictures of his wife and children sleeping? After he finished shooting, he stood by the bedside for a while longer and then lay down gently.
First, look at the photo album
A few minutes later, his breathing became steady and even, and he fell asleep. I waited until two o 'clock in the morning. Jack was sleeping soundly and snoring gently. I slowly got up and picked up my mobile phone from the bedside table on his side. Tom was sleeping soundly between him and me.
I walked into the bathroom barefoot with my mobile phone in hand, closed the door and locked it. Sitting on the toilet, my hands were shaking. I know Jack's password. It's our son's birthday, 0415. I entered and unlocked. I directly opened the photo album and looked at the most recent photos.
Why?
The latest three pictures show Tom and I sleeping in bed. The photo was taken from Jack's side. I was lying on my side, my arms around Tom, and Tom's little face was resting on my chest. I was wearing an old T-shirt, with my hair scattered on the pillow, completely unprepared. The photo time shows 23:07, which is just now.
I flipped down and found similar photos, which were distributed over the past two months. There were a total of six groups, all taken in the middle of the night. It was always me and Tom sleeping, and sometimes it was just me.
Check social apps
The background is all our bedroom. I'm wearing all kinds of pajamas, and sometimes I'm not even wearing any. My mind is in a complete mess. Why did Jack collect these photos? It's rather strange in itself to secretly take pictures of one's wife sleeping in the middle of the night.
Could it be that he has some special quirks? Or what else are these photos for? I thought of the worst-case scenario: Could he have shared these on some perverted forum? Or to whom is it sold? This thought made me feel sick for a moment. I opened his frequently used social app. I know Jack has an anonymous account and is very active on a parenting forum.
Post content
He showed it to me before and said there were many useful parenting experiences on it. When I was pregnant, he often read posts on it. I found that forum app and clicked on it. His latest post was just an hour ago, titled "My Entire World", and the accompanying picture was one of the photos he had just taken.
There was only one sentence in the post: "I worked overtime until eleven o 'clock and got home. Seeing this scene, all the fatigue of the day was worth it." This is the entire meaning of my striving." There are already over twenty replies below. "True happiness! Cherish it well." " The child is sleeping so soundly. Mom has also worked so hard.
Look through history
Such a scene is the reward of life. My son was like this when he was little. Now he's ten years old and doesn't let me hold him anymore. How time flies!" All are ordinary and well-intentioned comments. I clicked into Jack's homepage to read his past posts.
Over the past two months, he has posted similar content six times, all of which were photos taken in the middle of the night, either of me and Tom sleeping or just me. The captions were all more or less the same: "Coming home from working overtime late at night and seeing them in their dreams, I felt that everything was worth it." I was scolded by my boss today, but seeing this scene, I suddenly don't feel sad anymore.
Not a pervert
Sometimes I feel very tired, but when I see them, I know why I persist. The economic pressure is huge, but for this scene, I can hold on. Seeing this, I felt a little relieved. At least he wasn't sharing on any perverted website, nor was he selling photos. He was just recording, sharing family moments on a parenting forum, although in the form of secretly taking photos. But I still don't feel well. Why didn't he tell me? Why take secret photos?
View the chat records
I quit the forum to look for more clues. If it's just about sharing family photos on the forum, why has the behavior been so abnormal recently? How can we explain the signs Lisa mentioned: coming home late, being silent, leaving early and not being close?
I opened his chat app. First, check the recent contacts. At the top is colleague Mike, followed by another colleague Sarah, and below are several college classmates and his mother. I clicked on the chat record with Mike.
Work is troublesome.
The record left me stunned. The most recent conversation was three days ago: Jack: If this project fails again, I might really be laid off. Mike: Don't think so badly. There's still one month. Jack: My boss talked to me yesterday, saying that my performance was "unstable" and that I "couldn't concentrate".
I know it's because I've been taking a lot of leave recently that Tom has been ill a few times. Mike: Have you explained? Jack: I explained, but he said, "Family can't be an excuse." I think he's making excuses. The company's recent performance has been poor and there might be layoffs.
More details
Jack: Tom's kindergarten tuition is due next month. It's four thousand dollars. There are still eight months left for the car loan. Anna wants to move to a larger house, but with the current high interest rate, it's simply impossible. Mike: There's a lot of pressure. Jack: I dare not tell Anna. She will worry. She has been asking me recently why I came home late. Mike: Maybe you should tell her and figure it out together. Jack: I don't want to put pressure on her. She is already very tired of taking care of Tom. I can't let her worry about the money anymore. I kept scrolling up and came across the records from two months ago.
Economic pressure
At that time, Jack began to talk about work issues: Jack: The new project was very tricky. The client asked for repeated changes. Two people in the team resigned. Now we are short of staff. Mike: Our department is the same. I heard it's going to be reorganized. Jack: I have a bad premonition. If we are laid off, our family's finances will be tight.
The savings are only enough to last for three months. Mike: You can look for a job in advance. Jack: The market is not good now, and I'm 38 years old. At this age, it's very hard to find someone with the same salary if I'm laid off. Also: Jack: Anna said today that she wants to have another child. I said it was good, but I was nervous in my heart. One Tom is already under so much pressure. Another one...
The significance of those photos
Mike: You can tell her the truth. Jack: What should I say? Say, "Dear, we don't have the money to have another child now"? She will think I'm useless. I put down my phone and sat on the bathroom floor, my mind buzzing. So Jack didn't cheat. He has been under tremendous work and economic pressure for several months. He might be laid off. He didn't dare to tell me because he was afraid that I would worry and think he was useless. Looking back, I did mention that he wanted to change jobs, but every time I said, "Then let's do it," he would find excuses, saying that it was hard to find a job now or that he would wait a little longer.
Shame
I thought he was just dissatisfied with the current situation, but I didn't expect that he might lose his job. And there's also the matter of giving birth. I did say last month that I wanted to have another one because Tom is four years old.
I think it's time. Jack said at that time, "OK, let's have another one," but never mentioned it again after that. I thought he was just not in a hurry, but it turned out to be due to financial pressure. Now I kind of understand those photos. The posts Jack made on the forum, with captions like "My entire world" and "This is the entire meaning of my struggle", were not showing off; they were his way of boosting his own morale.
Return the mobile phone
He came home from working overtime late at night, saw us sleeping, took a photo and posted it online, telling himself that all the hard work was worth it. This is a form of self-consolation and also a solitary oath. He didn't dare to tell me the truth and could only express it on an anonymous forum. I feel deeply ashamed. I suspected he was cheating on me. I pretended to be asleep and peeked at his phone. And he was silently bearing the pressure, trying to protect me and prevent me from worrying. I recalled my recent attitude towards him. Because he came home late, I was cold to him.
Insomnia
Because he was silent, I quarreled with him. Because he refuses sex life, I feel that he no longer attracts me. I even told Lisa, "Jack has changed. He doesn't love me as much as he used to." The fact is that he is striving to keep the family going, while I am doubting him. I stayed in the bathroom for nearly an hour before putting my phone back. Jack was still sleeping. Tom rolled over and kicked my leg with his little foot. I looked at the two of them, and tears streamed down my face. What should I do? Back in bed, I kept my eyes open until dawn.
Breakfast plan
My mind was filled with those chat records, those pressures, and those words that Jack didn't say. I recalled his recent dark circles under his eyes, his daydreaming while eating, and his hurried figure as he left home in the morning. He's not avoiding me; he's avoiding being honest with me.
At five o 'clock in the morning, I got up quietly. I'm going to make him a sumptuous breakfast, just like when we first got married. At that time, we had no money but were very happy. On weekends, I get up early to make breakfast, fried eggs, bacon and fried tomatoes. It's simple but thoughtful. I haven't done this for a long time.
Prepare
After Tom came along, every morning was like a battle, with people hurriedly eating cereal or toast. I went downstairs and opened the refrigerator. There are eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes and mushrooms. The bread was bought yesterday and it's still fresh.
There are still a lot of coffee beans. I began to cook. Fried bacon and sausages, stir-fried mushrooms, fried tomatoes, fried eggs, toasted bread. I even drew a smiling face on the egg with ketchup, just like before. I also picked a few small flowers from the backyard, put them in a glass cup and placed it in the middle of the dining table. At half past six when everything is ready.
He went downstairs.
I heard footsteps upstairs. Jack got up. He usually goes downstairs at 6:40 and then leaves directly. Sometimes he takes a cup of coffee with him, and sometimes he doesn't have breakfast. When he went downstairs today, he was wearing a suit, a tie and carrying a briefcase in his hand. When he saw the dining table, he stopped at the staircase. "This is..." " He asked. "Breakfast," I said, "I made breakfast." He came over, looked at the table full of food, then at me, his expression confused. Is today a special day? He asked, "Did I forget anything?" "It's not any special day," I said. "I just want to make breakfast."
He sat down.
Jack sat down slowly and placed his briefcase on the chair beside him. He looked at the bacon, at the eggs, at the bread, and at that cup of small flowers. What time did you get up? He asked. "Five o 'clock," I said, "I couldn't sleep, so I got up." He picked up the fork and began to eat. Eating slowly and carefully, as if savoring something precious.
I sat opposite him, looking at him. I noticed that the dark circles under his eyes were quite heavy, that his hand holding the fork was shaking slightly, and that his Adam's apple was rolling as he swallowed. He is very nervous. "Jack," I said, "I'm sorry."
Apology
He raised his head, his eyes filled with confusion. "Why apologize?" " "I know you're having trouble at work," I said. "I know you're under a lot of pressure, I know you might be laid off, I know you're worried about money, and I know you feel you can't tell me." Jack's fork stopped in mid-air. His expression changed, from confusion to shock, then to understanding, and finally to a kind of relieved exhaustion. "You..." How do you know?" His voice is very soft. "I pretended to be asleep last night," I said. "I heard you taking pictures." I thought you were cheating. Lisa said those signs of yours might be cheating. I peeked at your phone, saw the photos you took, the posts you made on the forum, and the chat records between you and Mike.
"Confess"
Jack put down his fork. He looked down at the plate and remained silent for a long time. Only the ticking of the clock could be heard in the restaurant. "I didn't mean to hide it from you," he finally said, his voice hoarse. "At first, I thought I could solve it by myself." There are problems with the project. I think it can be handled. But the problems are getting bigger and bigger. My boss is putting pressure on me, someone in the team has resigned, and the clients are not satisfied... I dare not tell you because you will worry. And..." He paused, "And I feel ashamed." I'm the husband and the father. I should solve these problems instead of having you bear them all together.
His explanation
"But we are husband and wife," I said. "We should share the burden together." "I know," he said, "but I see you're already very tired of taking care of Tom. You pick him up and drop him off at kindergarten every day, cook, clean, play with him..." I don't want to put any more pressure on you. I want to protect you and make you feel that everything is normal and secure. "But if you don't tell me, I feel even less secure," I said. "I suspect you're cheating, Jack." I thought you didn't love me anymore, thought you had someone else on the side. That's worse than knowing there's something wrong with your job." Jack covered his face with his hand. "Sorry," he said, "I didn't expect it to be like this. I'm just... I don't want to disappoint you. What about those photos? I asked, "Why did you secretly take pictures?" Why didn't you tell me? Jack put down his hand, his eyes red. "
Those photos
Sometimes when the pressure is too great, I wake up in the middle of the night and see you and Tom sleeping there, so peaceful and so stable... I just think that no matter what happens outside, I have to protect this scene. Take a photo and post it online. It's like making a promise to myself that this is my responsibility and my meaning. But I was afraid of waking you up and also afraid that you would know I was so stressed that I couldn't sleep, so I secretly took pictures. Why didn't you wake me up? I said, "We can talk and think of solutions together." "I'm afraid you'll see me so vulnerable," Jack said. "A man should be strong and solve problems. He shouldn't wake up his wife in the middle of the night and say, 'I might be unemployed. I'm very scared.'"
Embrace
I stood up, walked to his side and hugged him. Jack buried his face in my waist and his shoulders were shaking. He was crying but made no sound. I touched his hair as if comforting Tom. "Fool," I said, "you can be afraid." You can tell me that you are scared. We are husband and wife, remember? The wedding vows say, "Whether in good times or bad," but they don't say, "Only in good times can one be vulnerable." We held each other for a long time until the breakfast was getting cold. "Let's have a meal first," I said. "After we finish, let's talk about the practical issues." We sat down again and continued to have breakfast. The atmosphere is different now. It's more relaxed. Although problems still exist, they are no longer a burden for one person.
On Practical Issues
After the meal, we cleared the table and then sat on the sofa in the living room to start discussing practical issues. "How much savings do we have?" " I asked. "About 30,000," Jack said. "But if I get laid off, I can probably get unemployment benefits for half a year, around 3,000 per month, which is not enough to cover all the expenses." "How much car loan is left?" " Eight thousand. There are still eight months left. The tuition fee for the kindergarten is 4,000 yuan next month and 1,200 yuan every month thereafter. The monthly mortgage is 2,000 yuan, and other living expenses are approximately 1,500 yuan." "That's a fixed monthly expense of 5,700," I calculated. "If you lose your job, the unemployment benefit is 3,000, leaving a gap of 2,700." With a deposit of 30,000, I can hold on... About eleven months."
Financial status
"More or less," Jack said, "but that's when it's not working at all." I can look for a temporary job or a part-time one. It's just that if I'm laid off, it might take time to find a job with the same salary. The current market is not good. "I can work," I said. "Tom is in kindergarten now. I can look for a part-time job or a full-time one." The previous part-time job, the boss said, could be changed to a full-time one, but the working hours were not flexible and might require working on weekends. "But you want to stay at home with Tom," Jack said. "You said you wanted to stay with him for a few more years." "The plan can be adjusted," I said, "and only temporarily. When you find a new job, I can adjust it again."
My job
Jack looked at me, his eyes complex. "I don't want you to sacrifice for me," he said. "I want to give you and Tom a good life, not for you to work to support the family." "This is not a sacrifice," I said. "This is a couple facing problems together." Besides, I have the ability to work and I also want to work, but I chose to stay at home before. Now the situation has changed and I can make adjustments." "Let's make two preparations first," I said. "You continue with your current job, do your best and try not to be laid off." At the same time, update your resume and start looking for opportunities. Don't wait until you are laid off to look again. I got in touch with that boss to see the specific conditions for full-time employment. We can also cut down on expenses, such as canceling some subscriptions, eating out less, and so on.
Job search preparation
Jack nodded, but it still looked very heavy. "I feel like a failure," he said. "To make you go to work because of me and to cut expenses..." "Jack," I interrupted him, "A successful marriage is not about one person taking on everything, but about two people facing everything together." Your previous approach was to exclude me, which made me feel untrusted and lonely. Now it's like this. Although the problems still exist, I think we are together. This is more important than anything else. "Those posts," Jack said, "if you feel uncomfortable, I can delete them." I didn't expect you to see that I was just...
The matter of deleting posts
"Don't delete it," I said. "But when we take photos in the future, you can wake me up and we can take pictures together." I don't like being photographed without knowing it, but if you want to record it, we can record it together." "Ok," Jack said, "I won't secretly take pictures anymore." He took out his mobile phone and showed me that forum. "Look, many people leave encouraging messages," he said. "Sometimes when you're under a lot of pressure, looking at these messages makes you feel less lonely." I took the phone and looked at those comments. Indeed, they are all kind words. Some are sharing similar experiences of their own, and some are encouraging. There was a comment saying: "My husband was laid off last year, and we went through the same." Now he has found a better job. Hold on. It will be fine.
A new beginning
Jack didn't go out in a hurry as usual that day. We chatted for an extra hour, laying out all the issues: work, economy, future plans, and even the matter of having a second child. "Regarding having another one," I said, "we can wait until the economy stabilizes and then talk about it. There's no rush." Tom is still young. We can spend quality time with him first. "Ok," Jack said, "Let's wait until it's stable." At nine o 'clock, Jack goes to work. Before leaving, he held me tightly for a long time. "Thank you," he said in my ear, "Thank you for making breakfast and for peeping at my phone." I laughed and cried.
Tell Lisa
After Jack left, I called Lisa and told her everything. After hearing this, Lisa was silent for a while. "I was wrong," she said. "I shouldn't have guessed randomly." But don't blame yourself either. His behavior is indeed easy to cause misunderstandings. "I know," I said. "From now on, I'll just ask him directly and won't guess anymore." "That's right," Lisa said. "Communication is the most important." By the way, if you are looking for a job, my company is currently recruiting part-time administrative staff. The working hours are flexible. I can recommend you. "Thank you. I'll think about it." That night, Jack went home at seven. It was the earliest time in the past few months. When he entered the door, he was holding a bunch of flowers in his hand. They weren't expensive, the kind bought from the supermarket.
The follow-up of that day
"I saw it at the supermarket and bought it," he said, a little embarrassed. "I haven't bought you flowers for a long time." Tom ran over to pick him up. He picked Tom up and turned him around. At dinner, Jack took the initiative to talk about work. He said that he had another talk with his boss today. There was a turn for the better in the project. A new colleague came up with a good idea and the team had a new direction. Although it cannot be guaranteed that I won't be laid off yet, at least there is hope. "And I've started updating my resume," he said. "No matter what the outcome is, get ready." "I also got in touch with that boss," I said. "He said a full-time job is fine, but it requires working half a day on Saturdays." I'm still thinking about it."
New habit
From that day on, we developed new habits. Every Saturday night, after Tom goes to bed, we spend an hour talking about "difficulties". No matter how big or small it is, speak it out and think of a way together. Sometimes it's Jack's job problems, sometimes it's mine, sometimes it's Tom's problems at kindergarten, and sometimes it's household chores. Jack no longer takes photos secretly. But when I agree, he will take pictures of our daily life and post them on that forum. But now, what he posts is not only good moments but also some real difficulties, such as "Today I talked to my wife about financial pressure. It was tough, but I felt relaxed now." Under his post, some people began to share similar experiences. Some thanked him for his honesty, saying it gave them the courage to communicate with their families.
My husband posted photos of me sleeping with other men online
- Evening Attire
- January 26, 2026
- 1458 Comments
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